Guard your words

As you begin or continue on your walk with Christ, it becomes really important to guard your words.  I am not talking just about fowl language but all the words that come out of your mouth, and the ones that you type out.  There is always someone listening to what you speak, or reading what you type out for everyone to see.

We as Christians, parents, and young adults need to guard our mouths.  We need to think before we speak and ask ourselves is what I am about to say going to glorify my walk with Christ.  If you are like me and my family and have kids they are listening to everything you say.  If they are like mine they are sometimes reading over your shoulder while you type and read your Facebook post and text messages.  This particular topic has really come to light in my life lately, we have been on the receiving end of being around those that do not seem to care what they say in the presence of anyone.  This makes it really difficult when you are trying your best to raise your kids to follow Christ and his example.

There is a saying that I like to borrow from a pastor friend that goes like this ” Whatever you take in your ear gates, and your eyes gates will become a part of you and eventually come out in your actions and words.”   Today we are talking about the words you take in.  NOTHING is harmless that you hear or listen to, because once you hear something you can not unhear it.”  Guard your words that you say with care. Ephesians 4:29 says “let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good, to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Let me share a little about our household with you before I close.  Our house might seem strict to some, we are not perfect so don’t get that idea.  We guard what our children watch and take in, yes we have teens and sometimes this is hard.  We do not allow fowl  language in our home, we change the channel if there is unacceptable language on.  We do not allow our children to listen to music that is not Christian.  We do not bring into our house things that are against Gods word, this is the sometimes difficult part.  Our children do not live in a box we just want to raise them in a Christian atmosphere, for as long as we possibly can.

Psalm 141:3   “set a guard, O lord, over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips.”

 

 

 

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Giving your whole life to Christ.

Your whole life should reflect Christ in you.  Before you speak, act, or do first pray and pause.  Ask yourself does what I am about to do reflect Christ in me.

     I am not perfect, no one on this earth is, but it would be a much better place if the first thing we put on before we do anything is put on Christ First.  How does this work, it starts with prayer.  I am not talking just one prayer a day, I am talking daily in all you do pray.  This might seem hard when you think about it, but it’s not.  Just say a short prayer in everything you do.

     When you are about to say something think to yourself : is what I am about to say going to be uplifting  encouraging and helpful to the person that I am speaking to.  Walk away from those that gossip, because that is not Christ like.

     When you are choosing things to watch, listen to, or read ask yourself is what I am doing glorifying to God.  You may not realize it at the time what ever you see, hear, or listen to will eventually become a part of you.  Believe me when I say, what you take in your eyes and ears is not harmless it will affect you sooner or later in life.

     This next one is going to step on some toes.  Putting on Christ in everything you do also includes what you wear.  Yes, I said that!  You can not say ” I am a follower of Christ” or a Christian, and walking around looking other wise.  I am talking of clothing that always private parts of your body to be seen.  Shirts that have words on them that are inappropriate.  I am not saying you should walk around in skirts to your ankles and turtle necks all the time, just use good Godly judgement when choosing your wardrobe.

      

     

      

Choosing Friends

When I thought about this post, I kept saying to God “I am no authority on this matter.  I kept hearing no one is just write from your heart.

A friend is someone that is there for you no matter what.  They don’t care about things like: how much money you have or what kind of clothes you wear. They support you in all that you do and offer constrictive advice when you ask for it.  A true friend is someone that you can do days or weeks without talking to and pick right back up like it was just yesterday.

When you are seeking out new friendships, first pray about them and ask for God’s guidance.  I have learned not to jump into getting to know people.  I have learned to sit back and observe.  I have let to many  people into my life that I thought liked me for who I am, but instead they were just judging me. As a friend one should no be judgemental or hurtful toward you. A true friend she be there for you with a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen.  I like the saying” you have two ears  and one mouth so you can listen twice as much as you talk”.

Confidence

God’s been tugging at my heart to write this post from past experience.  So I am going to try my best to do so.

To start I am going to give a little background on how I list my confidence in myself.  I was 21 years old and dating a guy that my father didn’t approve of at the time.  Things were going for about a year, then we moved in together.  Let me back up a bit, this was at a time when I started from my faith in God.  Well all was going well until I didn’t do things according to the way his mom did them, mind you he was 10 years older than me.  Then it snowballed when I got pregnant with our daughter and started to gain pregnancy weight.  He would criticize how much weight I gained at each doctor visit.  So this lead to me not eating a lot around him or his family.  He would also compare me to other women.  Needless to say in that instance our daughter was only 6 pounds and one ounce when she was born.

Things snowballed from there. Next it was how well I cleaned house.  How I drove my truck, which according to him was wrong. Next came how good of a parent I was, I never compared to his mother. Whom by the way told me on a regular basis that I was a horrible wife and mother.

So I gradually went into my shell, and when it came to trying new things that was no longer my thing.  No one noticed because every time I left the house he insisted to go with me, and he would drive.

I gave up on everything, and just focused on my daughter.  We divorced 3 years later.

It has taken me years to restore my confidence, which I fully have not gained back.  I am constantly apologizing for things, even if I didn’t do them.  Learning new things has become easier unless it is in a group setting.  I am not the one to jump into or start a conversation in fear I will be judged or criticized.

Last year I gave it to God like I should have a long time ago.  With prayer it has gotten better.

The message I am wanting to get out in this post is this.  Do not let anyone define who you are but God.  Don’t stay with someone who puts you down and steals your confidence in yourself, because that is not all they are stealing.  The are taking a piece of you that is very difficult to get back.

I am VERY HAPPY to say that I am happily married to my knight and shining armor going on 14 years.  He has helped in rebuilding my confidence, by lifting me up, and trying new things together with me.

Keep your confidence ladies and stay focused on God!  It is a hard thing to gain back.  I still catch myself say I can’t do that although I haven’t tried.

I am going to say keep your confidence and fill yourselves ladies with more I cans instead of I can’ts.  It does not matter what you look like try, it only matters that you tried.  Do everything in your life for God.  I am here to tell you that Jesus loves you and so do I.

You are worthy

As I am sitting here traveling down the highway, God is giving me a message.  A message I know in my heart that there is a young lady out there that needs to hear.

Let me just start by saying no matter what you are feeling you are worthy, you are a child of the one true king!!

I myself spent many years trying to please someone else and change for them.  That all changed 14 years ago.  I thank God everyday for giving me my true soulmate, and man after God’s own heart.

Lady’s you Do Not need to change who you are to make anyone happy. You should be with someone who loves you for you. If they keep trying to change your appearance to suit their needs and desires, they are not worth it.  If they tell you who you can be friends with or where you can go, they are not worth it.  Do yourself a favor and find someone who puts God first in their lives.  When God is the pilot in their lives they would love you for you and treat you right.

I am not just preaching to you, I am talking out of experience when I say if a man starts to change and control you to make himself happy. Run, do not walk away run away before he steals yourself esteem or worse starts to harm you or control you.

YOU ARE SO WORTHY, YOU ARE CHILD OF GOD.  HE LOVES YOU LIKE NO OTHER.

Please don’t just settle or stay with someone because of what they can give you.   Material items are not going to bring you happiness for long, instead they will bring you heartache, hurt and steal your self worth.  Instead seek the person that God has for you.

You are a child of the God, and so worthy of the best.  Seek God’s plan for your life and let God guide you to your soulmate!

Youth

As I sit here and think and look around.  I realize that it is a totally  different world than when I was a teenage girl.  There is so much media and outside sources telling girls what they should look like and be.  We need to start telling these young girls about Jesus and how much he loves them just the way God made them.

These young girls don’t need to be looking to supermodels for how they should be.  They need to be looking to God and his word.  We need to reach their hearts and minds and love them and lead them right.  They need less of the world and more of Jesus.

We are all created to be individuals not clones of someone else. We are so pressured as women to be thinner, more beautiful and attractive.  Let me just tell you from experience if you have to change yourself for someone they are not worth it.  They are just looking for a trophy and all they are going to do is criticize everything about you and steal your confidence in yourself.

Let these young ladies know that they are worth it just the way God made them. That pounds, height and makeup  are not what makes them who they are. That God created them as an individual and he has a special plan for their life when they were created.

Next time you come across a struggling young lady, let her know how beautiful she is.Don’t let these young girls feel that they need to all look alike. God did not create a mold for man and woman, he created individuals.

Lift each other up and be loving toward each other. God does not see the outside he sees the inside and the way you live your life. So live your life as Christ lived his.

Reaching out

I wasn’t quite sure what to title this post.  This is mainly a collection of thoughts, that came to me as I have been out and about lately.

There is so much need to reach the young and struggling mother’s of this world.  They need to know that they are not in it alone, that Jesus loves and cares about them.  They also need someone to reach out and say it’s okay to have bad days because all of us have been there.

Just think instead of judging the young mother with a screaming child, or the young mother who looks wore out. Reach out to her offer her a hug, a word of encouragement, or your friendship.  We all need a hand up at some point, SO just reach out, take a chance and be that encouragement.

I challenge you next time you see encounter a frustrated mother, go up to her and ask if there is anything that you can do for her.  Even if it is just praying for, that pray would mean so much.  Just a hug or a smile would feel tremendous to that young struggling, frustrated mother.

Modeling holiness, goodness, and not speaking gossip.

What does this mean to us as Christian women?  What is goodness?  What is holiness?

Lets talk about not speaking or listening to gossip.  There are was a saying when I was growing up : Those that gossip to you are also gossiping about you.”  Instead of gossiping lets uplift one another as Christian women.  I made a decision long ago to never listen to or speak gossip.  Gossip only hurts people and tears them down, and 90% of the time is not true.

Modeling holiness and goodness, is walking and living as Christ lived his life.  Walking and modeling this behavior means not tearing down another individual, but asking yourself instead asking yourself what can I do to show them the love of Christ.  If you are Christian this means modeling to your children how to dress modestly, how to conduct themselves so that others that see them know just by looking that they follow Christ.  It is teaching the young how to act and speak with respect and how to respect the property of others.  Psalm 99:9 says “Exalt the Lord our God, and worship at his holy hill, for the Lord our God is holy.

In Proverbs 20:19 it speaks of gossip.  ” He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets:  therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.”  What I take from this is that according to Gods instructions we are not to associates with gossipers or liars.   Teach your children and the young the right way to talk, and to not talk about others.

There are those that say these are hard qualities to follow in today’s world. When in reality they are not you just have to keep yourself in the word and less in the world.

 

 

Mentoring

There are those that are scared of the word mentoring.  Mentoring does not have to be a scary word, it is simply walking beside another person, lifting them up and giving them a shoulder to lean on.  Mentoring means helping another person grow, and teaching them.   All you have to do is reach out to someone and at first just lend an ear for them to talk to, and  give them a place where they feel safe and comfortable sharing with you.

I know that I  have been called to mentor young women and girls.  NO I do not have a degree, just a calling from God and my bible.  I am not perfect by any means, no one is, But God is not looking for perfect people he is looking for available people.  When I first felt God calling me to mentor young women, I kept asking are you sure.  I told God things like I am not ready, I am not outgoing enough to do this.  His reply was ” you can do this you listen to other people and have been where most of these young women have been.” ” Just share your life with them and they will open up and I will provide you with what you need.”    So here I am ready to step into the uncomfortable and the unknown. As Philippians 4:!3 state” I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”.

When I started this journey of mentoring, it made me think of a wonderful and remarkable woman of God. Who is precious to me. her name is Norma Gentry, she is the mother of my best friend and sister Jennifer.  This wonderful woman of god came into my life when I was twelve years old.  I did not know it at the time but it was her and her daughter Jennifer  that lead me Christ.  As I grew older and got married,  They would know just when to send an encouraging card, letter, or just a simple phone call.  It was always at a time when I would need encouragement. She was a second mother to me.   Norma modeled the love of Christ in everything she did, she was a wonderful example to me and I am sure many others.  This is the kind of mentor that I want to be to for other young girls.

 

What Titus 2 mentoring means to me

Titus 2 verses 3-5 state “The aged woman likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things.   That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of god be not blasphemed”.

These verses really speak to my heart.  Starting with verse three.  We as Christian women are to model holiness, goodness, and not listen to gossip.  We are to guard our words with care when we speak.  We also must guard our actions because they speak louder than words.  We must teach and model biblical principles not only to our own children, but to other young women as well.

In verse 4 it talks of teaching young women to be sober, to love their husbands and children.  Showing the love of Christ to young women is so important.  There are so many young girls looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places.  We need to show them the love of Christ with open arms not judging arms and hearts.  These young women that are lost and seeking all the wrong things are really looking for someone to say ” I love you”, and ” I care”.

Verse 5 speaks of being discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of god not be blasphemed.  We are called to lead a godly life, being obedient in all things.  We should not going around putting our husbands down.  We do not need to be on social media as married Christian women talking bad about our husbands, or posting things that we do not like about them.  YOUR HUSBANDS ARE YOUR HELPMATE,YOU ARE ONE.  Support your husband and praise him for what he does for you and your home.  Being a married Christian woman means that you only have eyes for your husband!  This even includes what you watch, what you post to social media, you can not hide anything from God, he know and see all.

Lets walk beside and support each other in this walk  as Christian women.  This walk we are called to is hard but together with help from the lord and each other we can make it a little easier.